Orbis non sufficit
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
#45. If I am humble, I can never be overcome
"As a society, we're not all that fond of braggarts, but at the same time, we don't appreciate the virtue of humility. It seems oddly old-fashioned to us...and it reminds us of those smarmy, self-righteous saints or martyrs who were eager for you to slap both of their cheeks. It makes my fingers itch just thinking about it.
But humility isn't about self-loathing. It's about finding the proper place for your ego. It's about acknowledging that we are all human together. If I'm smarter or more talented than another person, that doesn't make me a better person...it just makes me smarter or more talented. Big deal.
When we allow our egos to get too large and we start believing our own press, it means we have forgotten that most of what we have is a gift. (And if you think all you have you earned because you work hard, remember that the ability to work hard is also a gift.) We convince ourselves that we deserve everything. More. Even if we can't afford it or our husbands object. I work hard, we think, and I deserve it-the new car, the new boat, more power at work. But the fact is, we're not entitled to more than the next person. Period. Because you have high intelligence, do you somehow have a right to a bigger house than a person with the misfortune of being born without that gift? Because both your legs work, do you deserve a new boat more than a crippled person does? Of course not.
What we have and what we are is a result of gifts we have been given. It is true that some of us are given more gifts than others, and some of us make better use of our gifts than others. But a humble person is grateful for the gifts and passes them on whenever she can to her children, her students, her friends, her community.
When your ego is in its proper place, you can never be overcome. You have a core belief in your own self-worth and the worth of others, and you don't need to remind people of your importance every ten minutes. If someone criticizes you, you accept the criticism and take what you can from it. You don't allow the criticism to stop you. A reviewer thinks you're a terrible actor. If there is some truth to the charge-and often there is not-then do what you can to improve. But don't stop being an actor. You are humble enough to accept criticism, but that does not mean you give up on your goals.
Ego interferes with learning. If you're already convinced you know everything, you can't learn anything. A humble person is always willing to learn and grow from what he or she has learned."
Extract from Dojo Wisdom, by Jennifer Lawler.
Published by Penguin Compass 2003.
"As a society, we're not all that fond of braggarts, but at the same time, we don't appreciate the virtue of humility. It seems oddly old-fashioned to us...and it reminds us of those smarmy, self-righteous saints or martyrs who were eager for you to slap both of their cheeks. It makes my fingers itch just thinking about it.
But humility isn't about self-loathing. It's about finding the proper place for your ego. It's about acknowledging that we are all human together. If I'm smarter or more talented than another person, that doesn't make me a better person...it just makes me smarter or more talented. Big deal.
When we allow our egos to get too large and we start believing our own press, it means we have forgotten that most of what we have is a gift. (And if you think all you have you earned because you work hard, remember that the ability to work hard is also a gift.) We convince ourselves that we deserve everything. More. Even if we can't afford it or our husbands object. I work hard, we think, and I deserve it-the new car, the new boat, more power at work. But the fact is, we're not entitled to more than the next person. Period. Because you have high intelligence, do you somehow have a right to a bigger house than a person with the misfortune of being born without that gift? Because both your legs work, do you deserve a new boat more than a crippled person does? Of course not.
What we have and what we are is a result of gifts we have been given. It is true that some of us are given more gifts than others, and some of us make better use of our gifts than others. But a humble person is grateful for the gifts and passes them on whenever she can to her children, her students, her friends, her community.
When your ego is in its proper place, you can never be overcome. You have a core belief in your own self-worth and the worth of others, and you don't need to remind people of your importance every ten minutes. If someone criticizes you, you accept the criticism and take what you can from it. You don't allow the criticism to stop you. A reviewer thinks you're a terrible actor. If there is some truth to the charge-and often there is not-then do what you can to improve. But don't stop being an actor. You are humble enough to accept criticism, but that does not mean you give up on your goals.
Ego interferes with learning. If you're already convinced you know everything, you can't learn anything. A humble person is always willing to learn and grow from what he or she has learned."
Extract from Dojo Wisdom, by Jennifer Lawler.
Published by Penguin Compass 2003.
Comments:
Yeah I like it, yeah constructive rather destructive critisism is always good, and yeah what it was saying bout always wanting more, thats just human nature. Like Ansoff's social ladder, people are always wanting more than what they need to try and reach self-actualisation, which rarely happens, but as it said it can come down to ego.
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